I’m Michelle Callaghan, a first-year graduate student at Villanova University. This is our new column, “‘Cat in the Stacks.” I’m the ‘cat. Falvey Memorial Library is the stacks. I’ll be posting about living that scholarly life, from research to study habits to embracing your inner-geek, and how the library community might aid you in all of it.

All of the mashed potatoes.

Thanksgiving is in exactly one week. I don’t know about you, but I’m pretty excited. I, like you, have a ton to be thankful for this year, and as much as I’m tempted to make this a gooberfest of a grateful post, I’ll keep that to the Tweeter Tweety Twitter bird world (where you can hashtag #NovaSaysThanks and keep that feel-good thankfulness flowing throughout the week)!

So instead of sap, I give you:

Five Very Unhelpful* Strategies for Being Productive on Thanksgiving!

Look, everyone knows we have three weeks until finals. We’re trying to pretend it’s not true, but it is, and every cell of our sleep-deprived bodies are cringing with dread because projects and deadlines and exams are suddenly so scary and so giant and looming, and perhaps we can’t spare every hour of Thanksgiving for holiday activites. And maybe that’s okay, because you can…

…read article PDFs on your phone! You’ll fit right in at the dinner table, because your Aunt Betty just got a new iPhone and has discovered how to send cat gifs in texts, and your cousin Brad is checking his Fantasy scores, and really, every one of your family members’ faces are glowing blue this year, so what’s the harm? It’s not like anyone is talking!

But if that doesn’t cut it, you can study by osmosis during your turkey coma!

Step 1: Face-plant on the nice, cool pages of your biology textbook.

Step 2: Line up your frontal lobe on top of the juicier paragraphs.

Step 3: ???

Step 4: Profit!

No naps allowed? Use family debates to test your theses. People love arguing about things they don’t know much about, right? Free consultations!

And, worst-case scenario: you’ve been tasked with cooking. Buy 25 sides of green beans from KFC, write papers instead. Flawless plan.

*Don’t take any of this advice. It is terrible advice.

Some actually helpful tips for Thanksgiving break:

How to access databases through Villanova at home:
http://library.villanova.edu/help/faqs/offcampusaccess/

Subject Guides:
http://library.villanova.edu/research/subject-guides

Feel inefficient when using library resources? Check out our Highlighter blog posts:
https://blog.library.villanova.edu/news/category/highlighter/

Have fun, relax, and be grateful. Happy Thanksgiving, Wildcats!

Article by Michelle Callaghan, graduate assistant on the Communication and Service Promotion team. She is currently pursuing her MA in English at Villanova University.